You’re still seeing your friend as who they were in eighth grade. Update the file.

Old friends come with an old record attached, and the record stops updating around the time it was written. You keep treating them as the shy one, or the funny one, or the one who cannot be trusted, and they have spent four years becoming somebody else.

Ask somebody you have known for years a question you would ask a stranger. What they want to do next, what they have changed their mind about, what they are into now. It is awkward for a minute and then it is the best conversation you have had with them in a year.