You can’t smell your own house, but guests can. Habits work the same way. Ask someone honest.

Your nose stops reporting a smell it has had all day, because a constant signal gets filtered out as useless. Habits sit in that same blind spot. The thing you do that everyone else has noticed, the tone you take when you are tired, the way you interrupt, is background to you and foreground to them. You cannot think your way to it alone.

Ask one person who likes you and will not soften it: what do I do that I probably do not know I do. Then resist arguing. Say thank you, sit with it for a day, and decide afterwards whether you want to change it.