Good managers notice when you’re quiet in a meeting. Great ones ask about it later, alone.

Noticing is only the first half. Asking in the room puts somebody on the spot in front of an audience, which usually buys you a shrug and a nothing. Asking afterwards, with nobody watching, is what makes the noticing useful. The privacy is not politeness; it is the part that makes an honest answer possible.

You do not need to be anyone’s boss, so if a friend went silent at lunch, do not ask at the table. Text later, or catch them on the way out, and keep it short: you went quiet earlier, everything all right. Then let them answer at whatever size they want.