Ask what someone’s proud of. Their answer will show you what they’ve been noticing about their own life.

Pride is selective, and what somebody picks shows you where they have been looking. One person names a result, another names a hard month they got through, another names somebody they helped. None of those is the full story of their year, and each one tells you which part they kept. It is a better question than asking how they are.

Ask it once this week and resist topping their answer with your own. Then answer it yourself, honestly, and see what comes out. If nothing does, that is worth knowing too, and it says more about your attention than about your year.