Generosity should strengthen people, not make dependence necessary.

There is a kind of helping that quietly requires the other person to stay in need. It feels warm to both parties and it steadily narrows what the receiver can do alone. Good giving aims at capacity rather than at the continuing pleasure of being the one who gives.

Ask what a person will be able to do afterward that they cannot do now. If the honest answer is nothing, and this will simply repeat, consider changing the shape of the help. That may be harder and less immediately gratifying, and it is usually the more generous act.