The version of you that apologizes first knows something about you the proud version doesn’t.
STILLNESS
WHAT THIS MEANS
Going first in an apology requires knowing you were part of what happened, and that knowledge is simply not available to the version of you busy being right. Pride protects you from information, keeping the story tidy and the other person wrong. Whichever part of you is willing to speak first has already seen more of the situation than the proud part has.
Think of one thing you have not apologised for and say the specific sentence, with no explanation stapled to it. In person if you can manage that. Notice how fast the argument stops seeming interesting afterwards.
A QUESTION TO SIT WITH
What have you learned about yourself from apologizing first?
MORE IN SOLITUDE & SELF-KNOWLEDGE
- Some of the starlight you see tonight left those stars before you were born. Perspective is free if you go outside.
- Some of your loneliest nights will happen at parties. Some of your most connected ones will happen by yourself.
- Before chasing a goal, picture achieving it with a rule that you can never post about it. Still excited?
Free, with nothing to buy inside it.