If five minutes of silence feels unbearable, it might be worth asking what’s waiting in it.

When silence feels unbearable, the silence is rarely the thing that is wrong. Something has been waiting for a gap, and constant sound keeps the gap from opening, which works beautifully until it stops working. The discomfort is a signal about what is in there rather than evidence that quiet is intolerable for you.

You can test it gently, with two minutes rather than twenty, and just notice what arrives first. If it is something heavy, you are allowed to take it to somebody you trust instead of carrying it alone. Short and repeated works better than long and forced.