Alone at night you’ll hear the real reason you did something. It’s usually not the one you told everyone.

The reason you give other people is usually tidied up for an audience. Late and alone, with nobody to convince, the plainer version surfaces, and it is often smaller and less flattering: you wanted to be picked, you did not want to look soft, you were tired. Hearing it is not a punishment. It is the only version you can actually do anything with.

When it turns up tonight, let it finish instead of arguing. Say the real reason in one sentence, in your head or on paper. Decide whether it is one you would repeat on purpose, because if not, you have something specific to change.