Find out what you sound like when you’re not trying to impress anyone. That’s your real voice.

Most of your talking is adjusted for somebody, which is normal and makes conversation work. The cost is that the adjusted voice becomes so habitual you lose the one underneath, and every room gets a managed version of you. The plainer voice is slower and more specific than the performance, and it is the one people trust.

Talk out loud to yourself for a few minutes while you are alone, about anything, and listen instead of judging. Then carry a little of that into one real conversation with somebody easy. Say the plain thing without decorating it. You will notice the conversation gets shorter and better.