Some people need a crowd to feel alive. Some need a quiet room. Neither one is the correct setting.

Where your energy comes from is a setting, not a score. A crowd genuinely refuels some people and drains others, and the same goes for an empty room, which is why advice from either camp sounds like nonsense to the other. Most of the shame around this comes from treating one setting as the healthy one. The only real mistake is running on somebody else’s.

Check how you feel after the next busy evening and after the next quiet one, and note which left you better. Do it a few times, since one night proves nothing. Then build your week around your own answer rather than your friends’.