It’s hard to be fully honest with anyone else while you’re still lying to yourself about why you do things.

Honesty with other people is capped by how much you have admitted to yourself. Not because you are deceitful, but because you cannot report a reason you have not looked at. The conversation then stays accurate at the surface and slightly false underneath, and the other person can feel the gap.

Take one thing you do and ask the awkward question about why. Why you keep cancelling, why you want that school, why that friend’s news bothered you. The first answer is the polished one, so wait for the second, which is the one worth telling anybody.