Pay attention to what you do when nobody’s grading. That’s your actual personality.

Most of what you do is shaped by somebody measuring it: a teacher, a coach, a manager, a group chat. That is fine, and it also means the behaviour is partly about the measurer. What you do when nothing is being scored is purely yours, which makes it more informative and slightly harder to look at.

Watch one free hour this week without judging it, just noting it. What you read, who you message, whether you move. Then ask whether you like the picture, and change one small thing if you do not.