When someone says “you’ve changed,” take a quiet minute to ask yourself whether it was for the better.

The minute after that remark usually goes on building a defence, which wastes a genuinely useful piece of outside information. Somebody noticed a difference, and you are the only one who can judge whether it is an improvement. Some changes are growth, and some are drift that happened while you were busy.

Instead of arguing, pick one specific way you are different from a year ago and weigh it honestly. Harder to reach, more honest, less patient, more disciplined. Keep what holds up to that look and work on what does not, and let the other person think what they like.