Power you got by embarrassing someone has a short shelf life and a long memory.

Humiliating somebody in front of other people does buy you something. The room laughs, and for an afternoon you look like the one in charge. It also makes an enemy who remembers the exact words, while everyone watching quietly notes that you are willing to do that to a person. Standing built on fear is rented, never owned.

Think of one moment this month when you got a laugh at somebody’s expense. No speech is required. Sitting near them, asking them something ordinary, or simply never repeating the joke is enough to begin putting it down.