Listen for what someone keeps not saying. The topic they avoid is usually the real one.

People talk around things carefully. Money, grades, a friendship that has gone wrong, a parent’s job, something that frightens them. Whatever gets steered away from each time is doing most of the work in the conversation without ever appearing in it. Absence is information once you start listening to shape rather than content.

In your next long conversation, notice what gets skipped twice. Do not announce the discovery or push at it, but ask one soft question near the edge and let them move away again if they want. Knowing where the sore spot sits mostly tells you how to be kind.