Grudges are expensive. You pay for them with years you’ll never get back.

A grudge does not sit still. It takes rent: a share of your attention, a stiffness whenever that person’s name comes up, rooms you avoid. Whether the other person deserved it is a separate question from who is paying for it, and the one paying is you, in time that does not come back. Setting it down is not the same as saying it was fine.

Think of one grudge you are carrying, preferably a small one, and ask what it has cost you this month. If the answer is more than the grudge is worth, you can put it down privately, with no conversation and no announcement.