Elders who seem stubborn have lived through things you haven’t. Ask what happened before you decide they’re wrong.

Stubbornness usually has a history attached. An older relative who refuses to use a card, keeps cash in the house or will not discuss a particular year is rarely being difficult for sport, and the rule they follow was written by something that happened to them. You might still disagree once you hear it. At least you will be disagreeing with the real thing.

When somebody older digs in this week, ask what made them feel that way before you argue. Make it clear you are curious rather than challenging them. Most people loosen the grip a little as soon as the reason gets heard.