Clap loudest when your friend gets the thing you wanted. That’s the hardest kind of loyal.

Being glad for somebody who got your thing is genuinely difficult. The disappointment and the affection arrive together, and most people resolve that by going a bit quiet, which the friend notices and files away. The harder and better option is to be loud about their news and handle your own feelings separately. Nobody is asking you to feel nothing, only to put the right thing first for ten minutes.

If this happens, say the congratulations fully and specifically, in person if you can. Then go and be disappointed on your own time. Both of those fit in the same afternoon.