At a funeral, you don’t need perfect words. Your face in the room says enough.

People stay away from funerals because they do not know what to say, and the saying was never the point. What is counted later is who was there. Attendance is the message, and it is legible without any words at all, which is why families remember the room rather than the sentences. Nobody has ever been judged for a clumsy sentence at a service.

If somebody you know loses a person, go if you can, and stand where they can see you. Hello and sorry is a complete sentence. You can skip the explanation of why you came and simply be present for an hour.