A lot of grieving people want to hear their person’s name. Don’t be so careful that you never say it.

The worry is that mentioning somebody will remind a person of a loss they had briefly forgotten. The loss is already there all day. What often goes missing is other people saying the name, because everyone is being careful, and the silence can feel like the person is being edited out. Hearing the name from somebody else is frequently a relief.

You can offer rather than insist. Mention a memory of the person, in the ordinary way you would mention anyone, and then follow whatever they do with it. If they would rather not talk, that is fine, and you have still shown that their person can be spoken about.