If you’re always walking on eggshells, the relationship is asking you to be smaller.

Constant care around somebody is exhausting in a way that is hard to see from inside, because the adjustments happen one at a time. You stop mentioning certain things, you check your tone, you plan sentences in advance. None of that is closeness, and over a long enough period the amount of you that is present in the relationship shrinks.

You might start by noticing the specific things you have stopped saying, which tends to be clarifying on its own. If the list is long, it is worth telling somebody you trust what it has been like. Wanting a version of this where you can relax is not unreasonable.