If they only get interested when you pull away, it’s usually the chase they like, not you.

Interest that only appears when you withdraw is interest in the gap, not in you. Some people are motivated by the sensation of pursuit, and once the distance closes the motivation evaporates, which is why the pattern repeats in the same shape. Nothing you do changes it, because the thing switching it on is your absence. That is a fact about them rather than a problem with you.

Stop testing it by pulling away, which only feeds the cycle. Behave consistently for a month and see whether they can sustain anything at a steady distance. If the answer is no, you have learned something without having to argue about it.