You can hear “this part wasn’t good” without hearing “you aren’t good.” Those are different sentences.

Criticism of a piece of work gets automatically upgraded into a verdict on the person, and the upgrade happens so fast that it feels like the original message. Somebody said a paragraph did not land and you heard that you cannot write. Keeping the two apart is a skill rather than a personality trait, which means it can be practised.

When something stings, write down the exact words said and the version you heard underneath. Seeing the gap on paper shrinks it. Then answer the actual sentence, which is usually about one fixable thing.