Know whether you need advice or just someone to listen, and say which one when you call.

A lot of the friction in those conversations comes from a mismatch: you wanted company and got a plan, or you wanted a plan and got sympathy. The other person is guessing, and guessing wrong leaves both of you frustrated. Naming it first removes the guess. It is one short sentence at the start of the call.

Try it this week: say you just need to talk this out, or say you want ideas. Both are legitimate, and you are allowed to want the first one. Ask the same question of your friends when they call you, because it is a quick way to be useful.