Count your own mistakes the way you count other people’s. Most of us use two different calculators.

The two tallies run on different rules. Your own errors come with context, intentions and the reason it was a hard week, while other people’s arrive as bare facts. Both calculations feel fair from the inside, which is why the imbalance survives so long. It shows up most with the people closest to you, who get the strict count.

Pick one person you have been keeping score on, and recount their last few mistakes with the kind of context you give yourself. Then do the reverse with your own, stripped of the reasons. The point is not to be harder on yourself, it is to use one calculator.