Let an older person’s humor remain humor instead of turning every remark into a concern.

Once people start worrying about someone, everything that person says gets read as a symptom. A dark joke becomes a warning sign, a complaint about the stairs becomes a conversation about moving, and a wry remark is met with a careful expression rather than a laugh. The effect is that they lose the ordinary pleasure of being funny, and they notice. Many people then edit themselves in front of the family who love them most.

Laugh at the joke first. If something genuinely worries you, raise it later, directly and separately, rather than by answering a passing line gravely.