A supportive visit should leave room for the recipient to become tired sooner than expected.

Illness, grief and recovery make energy unpredictable, and often the person cannot tell you in advance how long they will last. Visits get planned around the visitor’s schedule, which means the guest stays until the arranged time and the person hosting has to keep going. Ending early has to be made easy, or it will not happen.

When you visit someone unwell or worn out, say at the start that you will leave whenever they want. Come with something small to do rather than a long conversation to sustain, and go before they have to ask.