An older relative should be included in decisions about their life while they can still make them.

Decisions about an older person’s life have a way of drifting into conversations they are not part of. It often begins with kindness, a wish not to worry them, and it ends with them being informed of arrangements rather than making them. The loss is not only practical, because being consulted is part of remaining someone with a life of their own. Timing matters here, since the window for real choosing does not stay open forever.

Ask directly what they would want while the question is still hypothetical rather than urgent. Write down what they say, so their voice is present later when others are deciding.