Families need some visits where nobody is asked to justify the direction of their life.

Relatives often mistake interrogation for interest. The questions about the job, the house, the partner and the plan arrive with love behind them, but they land as an audit, and the person being audited spends the whole visit defending choices they have already made. A family that only ever assesses each other stops being a place people can rest.

Choose one gathering where you ask nothing that requires a progress report. Talk about food, weather, old stories, the dog. If someone wants to tell you where their life is going, they will, and it will be far more honest for not having been requested.