The best proof of change is a familiar difficulty handled in a genuinely different way.

Change announces itself in language long before it shows up in behaviour, which is why declarations are such weak evidence. The real test arrives when the old situation returns: the same argument, the same temptation, the same Sunday night. Handling it differently once is worth more than any amount of insight about why you used to handle it badly.

Watch for the next repeat of a familiar difficulty and treat it as the exam rather than the setback. Decide in advance on one thing you will do differently, however small. Grade only that one thing.