Some interests become possible only after they are no longer expected to pay for themselves.

Asking an interest to earn its keep changes what it can be. Once there is a return to justify, the parts that were slow or private or unimpressive start looking like waste, and those parts are often where the pleasure lived. Some things only exist properly when nobody is checking whether they were worth it.

Take one thing you enjoy off the list of things expected to pay off. Stop measuring it, stop showing it, and let it be as inefficient as it wants. If that feels indulgent, remember that its whole value is in being the part of the week that does not have to argue for itself.