Speak to the person whose life is being discussed, even when someone else helps answer.

In rooms where someone needs help, the helper often becomes the addressee. Questions go over the head of the person they concern, answers come back from beside them, and gradually they become a topic in their own life. It rarely happens out of disrespect. It happens because talking to the person who answers fastest is easier.

Aim your eyes and your questions at the person whose life is under discussion, even when a companion fills in the details. Wait a beat longer for them to speak. If help comes from the side, take it without turning your attention away from them.