The person who names the practical change needed has given the argument a possible destination.

Disagreements can circle for a long time with nothing to aim at. Everybody has a position, a grievance and a history, and none of that indicates where the conversation could stop. Someone who says what would actually need to be different, in concrete terms, turns a mood into a proposal. It may well be the wrong proposal, and it still changes the argument from something endured into something that can be decided.

When a disagreement keeps returning, try naming the specific change that would settle it for you. Even if the answer is no, everyone now knows what is being asked, which is more than they had.