The person allowed to be complicated has received a generosity others may be denied.

Being allowed contradictions is a privilege that is handed out unevenly. Some people are read as complicated, having a hard year, acting out of character; others get one bad moment converted into a permanent description of who they are. The difference usually tracks familiarity, status and how much someone resembles the people doing the judging.

Watch which people you extend it to. When someone you barely know behaves badly, try assuming the same background you would assume for a friend: a bad week, missing information, something you cannot see. You do not have to approve of the behaviour to widen the explanation.