Families can disagree about fairness while each person remembers a different sacrifice.

Everyone in a family keeps a private ledger, and no two ledgers hold the same entries. One person remembers years of driving to appointments, another the money sent quietly, another a career adjusted around somebody else’s need. Each account is honest and each is incomplete, which is why arguments about fairness can run for decades with nobody lying. You are comparing records that were never kept the same way.

In the next disagreement of this kind, ask what the other person believes they gave up. Listen without correcting the parts you remember differently. A workable present matters more than an agreed past.