A wedding speech earns warmth by knowing which private stories should stay private.

Restraint is what makes affection in public feel safe. A speech containing everything the speaker knows can be funny and still leave the couple exposed in front of relatives who did not need that information. Choosing what not to say is the part that shows real closeness, because it proves you were paying attention to more than the good material. Warmth comes from judgement rather than access.

If you are speaking about somebody, ask before each story whether they would choose to have it told. When unsure, check with them beforehand. Keep the one you leave out.