A key permits entry while a welcome makes staying feel possible.

Access and belonging are handed over separately. Being given a key settles the practical question of whether you may come in; it says nothing about whether you can put a mug in the wrong cupboard, or sit down without being asked what you need. That second permission is built slowly, and it is the one that decides whether a person relaxes in a house or remains a guest in it.

If someone new has joined your household, hand over the small permissions out loud as well as the key. Tell them what they can help themselves to, and mean it, because nobody assumes a welcome they have not been given.