A disagreement can feel personal when an opinion has become part of how someone introduces themselves.

Some views are held and others are worn. When a position has become part of how somebody is known, questioning it is experienced as a question about their place among people rather than about the position. That is why an argument over something small can turn strangely hot. Identity is doing the arguing, and identity does not concede easily.

When a conversation heats up faster than the subject warrants, slow down and keep the point about the thing rather than the person. Say plainly what you still respect. And check whether one of your own opinions has quietly become part of your name.