A celebration planned around appearances can leave the celebrated person feeling strangely absent.

A party built for how it will look tends to forget who it is for. The person at the centre spends the day being arranged, photographed and moved between groups, and can go home having missed their own occasion. Beautiful arrangements are not the same as being celebrated. Attention on the event competes with attention on the person.

If you are organising something for somebody, ask what they would enjoy rather than deciding what will look good. Build in an hour where they are simply among people they love. And if you are the one being celebrated, you are allowed to say what you actually want.