Experience is a grindstone; and it is lucky for us if we can get brightened by it, and not ground.

Hard experience does not automatically improve anyone. The same pressure that sharpens one person wears another down, and which of those happens depends less on the severity than on what was there to begin with and what help was available. There is nothing deserved about either outcome. Anyone who tells you that suffering reliably makes people better has not watched enough of it.

If you are going through something abrasive, the useful question is what would help you come out sharper rather than thinner. Usually it is rest, other people, and not carrying it alone. Take the part of it that teaches and refuse the part that only wears.