Meaning is rarely found by measuring yourself against people living different stories.

Comparison requires a shared scale, and lives do not have one. Measuring yourself against someone whose circumstances, values, and starting point differ produces a number with no real content, and it reliably obscures whatever meaning your own situation contains. The exercise feels rigorous and is not.

When you catch yourself measuring, ask whether you would want that person’s whole life rather than the visible part. Then return to the question of what a good version of your own would be.