These two things, contradictory as they may seem, must go together,—manly dependence and manly independence, manly reliance and manly self-reliance.

You need both the capacity to stand alone and the willingness to lean. They look like opposites and are not: someone who can only be self-sufficient is as limited as someone who can only be carried, and both are exhausting to be around. Real steadiness is being able to do it yourself and choosing to ask anyway, or being able to ask and choosing to manage.

If you default to independence, ask somebody for help this week with something you could technically handle. If you default to leaning, take one thing back and do it alone. Whichever direction is uncomfortable is the one worth practising.