If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.

Most of what goes wrong in a life is not an enemy. It is a habit: the late start, the avoided conversation, the second promise made to escape the first, repeated until it starts to look like fate. Those are the ones nobody else can fix for you, which is the bad news and the good news together. Seeing it clearly only helps if it arrives without contempt, since the hard things that happened to you are a separate matter.

Name the habit that appears in most of your complaints, then change its conditions rather than scolding yourself. Move it, schedule it, tell someone.