Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the part of one friend that he is superior to the other.

There is a comfortable kind of friendship that runs on a quiet imbalance: one person privately believes they have the better of it, and that belief keeps them generous, patient and unthreatened. Nothing is ever said about it, and it works, which is the uncomfortable part. Ease between people is sometimes just the absence of rivalry, bought by somebody settling the ranking in their own favour.

Ask where your own ease comes from. If a friendship feels effortless, check whether you have been keeping a private scoreboard that flatters you, and what would change if they turned out to be doing better than you thought.