The coach you couldn’t stand at fifteen is the one you quote at twenty-five.

Demanding people are unpleasant to be around and often correct, and the two facts take years to separate. At the time all you can register is the friction. Later, when you are the one who has to make yourself do something hard, their sentences turn out to be the ones available in your head, and you find out what they were doing.

You do not have to like someone to take what is useful. Ask what they are actually asking for, separately from how it is delivered. Hold on to the standard and leave the rest. If they were genuinely unfair, that stays true too.