Growth is catching your own pattern before someone else has to point it out.

Everybody runs a few moves without noticing: going quiet when hurt, joking when it gets serious, leaving before being left. Usually somebody else spots it first and says so, which stings mainly because it is accurate. Catching it yourself changes everything, since a pattern you can see coming is one you can interrupt.

Pick a situation that keeps ending the same way and look for your part in the repetition. Not the blame, the mechanism. Name it, and the next time you feel it starting, say so out loud instead of running it again.