Growth is when losing makes you curious instead of furious.

Anger after a loss is aimed at the fact of losing, which cannot be changed and teaches nothing. Curiosity is aimed at the mechanism, and the mechanism is the only part you can work on. The shift usually happens when your identity stops depending on the result of any single attempt. You can still hate losing and ask better questions about it.

After the next loss, wait an hour and then write two lines: what happened and what you would try instead. Ask someone who beat you what they saw. Take the answer as data rather than a scorecard.