Growth is being able to name what went wrong without naming someone to blame.

Blame answers a different question than diagnosis does. Finding who is at fault settles the emotional part and leaves the mechanism untouched, which is why the same thing happens again. A clear account of what went wrong usually involves several decisions, some of them yours, none of them villainous. Dropping the search for a culprit is what makes the actual analysis possible.

Take something that went badly and write the sequence of events with no adjectives. Read it back and find the one point where a different choice would have changed the outcome. Fix that point, and let the question of whose fault it was stay unanswered.