High standards without support feel like a trap. Support without standards feels like babysitting. Do both.

Demanding a lot from someone you are not helping tells them you want the result and not them. Helping someone you expect nothing from tells them you do not think they are capable. Neither is pleasant to be on the end of, and people can tell instantly which one they are getting. The pair together is what makes someone grow.

Pick a person you are responsible for in some way and work out which half you are short on. If you have been demanding, ask what would actually help and then do it. If you have been gentle, name a real expectation and say you believe they can meet it.