Lots of people would lend you a jacket. Count the ones you’d hand your unlocked phone to. That’s your real circle.

Generosity is common and trust is not. Plenty of people will do you a favor, because favors are visible and cost a little, while very few are people you would let see everything without a second of hesitation. That hesitation is the measurement, and it is honest even when you wish it were not. Most people have two or three, not twenty.

Picture handing the phone over, one friend at a time, and notice exactly where you flinch. Nothing has to change with the people you flinch at. Just be clear with yourself about who is in the small group, and make sure they know it.